Katz's Deli

Few things that we eat are so good that they rock you to your very core, carving an impression in your soul that you cary for the rest of your life. So good, that while your chewing, you can barely even see or hear, so that your sense of taste can switch into high gear to fully appreciate what you just put in your mouth. That is what we call a foodgasm. Katz's Deli is a 5-alarm, full-fledged, foodgasm. In Rob Reiner's When Harry Met Sally, Meg Ryan famously demonstrates her ability to fake an orgasm at Katz's, but rest assured, you won't fake yours. So, what was I having?

Corned beef on rye with deli mustard. Perfection in a sandwich. It's so simple that its hard to mess up, but its even harder to perfect. Katz's epitomizes what this classic sandwich should be. Sure I could tell you that the corned beef was cooked to perfection, it was juicy, seasoned perfectly, and the bread was fresh, but that wouldn't do it justice. I know it's a poor excuse for someone who writes about food to say that they are at a loss for words, but folks, I am just that. Good. God.

I have to say something about the pickles. I f-ing LOVE pickles. If you've ever been to a diner with me, you know that I am inclined to order a plate for the table. That's not because I'm always in the mood to eat them. Rather, I strive to search out the perfect pickle because its rarely done right. In the wide array of things that constitute brined cucumber products, it's full sour deli pickles that really stand out. Half sours, bread and butter pickles, cornishons, even the southern invention that is the fried pickle or frickle, all pale in comparison to the deli style full sour. That said, full sour deli style pickles vary from free with your hamburger filler garbage to, well, Katz's. Katz's is the holy grail of pickles. With your order of a sandwich the pickles are free, and if your smart you'll hold the half sours. To me, it just doesn't make sense, its like ordering your chicken half cooked. They also have other pickled goodies, like pickled tomatoes, something my father likes very much.

In the interest of telling you about the most possible food, I ordered a half soup with a half sandwich. I don't have many regrets in life, but this is one. The soup was great, but its not worth sacrificing half of the sandwich. In any event, Katz's matzoh ball soup is good. It comes with one mega-huge matzoh ball, which is light and airy. But like an Italian, where no spaghetti sauce is as good as "Grandma's", as Jew, I believe that is true of matzoh ball soup. Its generally something I don't order at restaurants, and I think I will resume that policy.

A few other notes. The ordering is a bit confusing, but it has charm. Once you enter, you receive a ticket, which you are warned about losing at the penalty of a $50 fee. There isn't a line, so just walk up to the counter and order with the first available dude with access to meat. You can sit anywhere, including under a sign demarcating Meg Ryan's famous orgasm scene, but come on, don't be a tourist. Also, here's a fact you may want to know that may assist in your ordering. Corned beef is brined/cured brisket, a kosher cut from the front end of a cow. Pastrami is corned beef that is spiced and smoked. The argument about what's better is eternal, so I wont bother attempting to break it down. If you don't know where you stand, you have some serious thinking to do.

At the end of Pixar's Ratatouille (spoilers ahead!!), Remy, the film's rodent protagonist, serves his ratatouille to the cruel restaurant critic, Anton Ego. A French peasant dish, it's hardly the regular fare for an upscale reviewer. But upon tasting it, he is immediately transported to his mother's kitchen, both humbled and totally engrossed by the dish. For the rest of his days, he is no more the scathing villain, but instead contently chows down on Remy's ratatouille. My experience at Katz's is much like that. While I am not a transformed grumpy Frenchman, Katz's Deli really spoke to me. As a Jew, growing up in the New York City suburbs, this is my soul food. And while it may not be yours, I implore you to partake in a seriously seriously delicious food culture. For me, Katz's isnt just a foodgasm, its a love affair.

Stay Hungry.

Jon

Report Card:

Food: A+
Atmosphere: A-
Service: A
Price: B (It ain't too cheap, but I'd give my right arm)
Overall: A